Why Can’t We Be Friends?


Once upon a time, there was this beautiful woman.  She drove a beautiful car, wore beautiful clothes, had beautiful children, and lived an all-around beautiful life.  She was always friendly to me, making light conversation whenever we’d run into each other.  I would think to myself, “I’d like to be her friend.”  And that thought was quickly followed by, “But she wouldn’t want to be friends with me.  I don’t even begin to compare with her.” And we never became friends. The end.

I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t been in my shoes.  We see all these potential relationships, add up their qualities, add up our qualities, and then decide if we’re “friend material”.  I’ll bet many who read that felt sorry for me to be the lowly woman who just isn’t enough to be friends with those who are all put together and life seems to be colored in the shade of beautiful.

But I don’t deserve sympathy; I’m the victim of my own demise.  You see, this has been a true and reoccurring story for me.  That is, until the day the Holy Spirit tugged on my heart and called me out on it.  The real victim is that sweet woman who happens to look pretty a lot.  I made the mistake of assuming she doesn’t need me in her life, because, clearly, I’m not pretty enough to fit in it.  I made the mistake of assuming she was really just that shallow.

You see, we all tend to focus on ourselves.  When face-to-face with someone we deem “better than” in some way, all we can see are our flaws.  They’re so thin, or they’re hair is always perfectly done, or they’re life is so polished and pristine… Tell me, why do we read those phrases as though they’re negatives?  Maybe we justify these thoughts by convincing ourselves that person must really be vain to look that good all the time.  Who’s casting judgment here?

Do you see how unfair we are to each other?  In our fear of being rejected, we are the ones who are doing the rejecting.  I don’t want be that person.  Let’s give each other a chance.  After all, I’m worth being friends with.  And you are too.

PS. The above photo is what I look like taking my kids to school on a snow day.  🙂