On Being Modest

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Recently, I was part of a discussion about another unfortunate blog post on modesty. The responses were full of anger, hurt, and frustration. Not because any of the parties were unwilling to be modest, but because the question of “What is God’s heart about modesty?” continues to land in every place but the right one.

I’m not going to sit here and say I have all the answers, but I definitely have a message to bring that needs to finally be said already. Here goes…

Modesty is no more a preventer of lust than immodesty is a cause of lust. Read that again. One more time. It’s high time we separate these two issues as they are virtually unrelated. When we allow these issues to be their own, we stop the vicious, hurtful cycle of behavior and words that solves NOTHING. Do you struggle with lust? Own it. Do you struggle with modesty? Own it. Perhaps one day I’ll talk about lust. But not today. I think most of us here agree the Bible asks us to be modest. Many of us would love it if it spelled out some kind of checklist–a sort of What Not To Wear. But it doesn’t. God knows our human hearts could be full of promiscuity while maintaining all the right dress codes.

I urge you, sisters, to look at yourself in the mirror. Ask deeply for the Holy Spirit to put a highlighter on your heart. That’s where modesty begins. Have you been wounded and long to feel beautiful? You won’t find beauty in your reflection no matter good it looks. Does it hurt to see your body look the way it does? You won’t find healing in your reflection no matter what jeans size you’re wearing. Is there an emptiness you feel? You won’t find wholeness no matter how on trend you are.  The beauty, healing, and wholeness are all found in the mighty grace of Jesus.

Modesty begins in the heart. Start there. Eventually, your wardrobe will catch up.

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